Bulleying...

I know a lot of people get bullied in high school. It's either for being over-weight, disabilities, acne, etc... Personally, my high school life wasn't easy. Bad thing was, I couldn't even escape it over summer. It seemed like it followed me everywhere. I tried being the bigger person and ignoring it. But it gets kinda hard when it seems the people who bulley you manage to get in with your friends. Then what are you suppose to do? Ingore it? Continue to be friends with them? What? Because at that point it seems like the only thing is get away from them. Even the people you've known all your life.

While I was in high school I was picked on. Not because I was over weight, I was far from it. I was picked on because I kept losing weight. But it was in a healthy way, but no one seemed to care. I was picked on because I tried to get along with everyone. Need I remind you I knew most of these people since we were kids. Most of us played tag, hide and seek, went to each others birthday parties. These are the people I grew up with and I was being picked on for getting along with them. Then to top it off, I got picked on about who I dated. Dated? Really? Does it matter to you who I date? I can't help that they broke up with you. It was their choice not mine. Nine times out of ten, the break up was coming, whether it was them or you. But what's wrong with someone asking on a date? Honestly, it's not like they are cheating on you. Yeah, maybe it would've been nice for them to give the break up a little time. Oh well, it happens.

After graduation I packed my bags and moved to California. I figured then it would stop. Wrong. It literally followed me. All because I was here and was able to go to a friend's Marine Corps boot camp graduation. Later, the hard way of course, I learned friends change and we are no longer friends. I moved home and started going to college. This friend, was part of the whole reason I was being bullied in high school. He dated a "friend", she broke up with him and I liked him. Of course, I didn't think it would go anywhere, so I started hanging out with him. But it did go somewhere and I was happy. I was always there for him, no matter what it took. But back to the main point, I tried getting away from him. As soon as I moved back home, of course I knew he would be there, but not at every turn. I had just filled out my last little bit of paperwork to start school and there he was, walking by the door. I stayed and did a few weeks of school, but I couldn't handle it like I thought I could. Then it was back to packing my bags and moving back to California to escape it. But then I started gettin phone calls at all hours of the night. Then it just started happening once a month. Then I met Zakk. Now, all the fun begins. I got a call one night and they left a really dirty voicemail... I let my sister listen to it and I didn't know what to do. I was so scared it was goin to cause me to lose Zakk. But it didn't, he stuck by my side and told me not to worry about it. We thought the phone calls had finally stopped. Wrong. We were laying in bed one night and my phone rang, it showed up "unknown" and I didn't answer it. They left a voicemail telling me Zakk was cheating on me and that he didn't want to be with me anymore. That was the last straw. Time to change my number. So we did and things have gotten better.

Point being, pay attention. If your kids are being bullied try and help them. Don't tell them they are the problem. Sometimes that might be the case, but nine times outta ten, it's not. I would know. I tried everything to avoid it. I was not one to fight. Of course I had a temper, but I didn't want to fight. I was thought to not throw the first punch but to finish it. At the end of this, high school was tough and I hated it. And now I see that it's gotten worse since I've graduated, which was only over a year ago. That's sad. I hate to see anyone go through what I went through and them not being able to escape it. I just wish people would understand what kids face in high school is tough, no matter who they are.

Cowboys and Angels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F1GrYeIMco

There's a want and there's a need
There's a history between
Girls like her and guys like me
Cowboys and angels
I've got boots and she's got wings
I'm hell on wheels and she's heavenly
I'd die for her and she lives for me
Cowboys and angels

We ride side by side
A cloud of dust, a ray of light
My touch is her temptation
Her kiss is my salvation
She's sweet, I'm wild, we're dangerous
Cowboys and angels

I'm not sure why her path crossed mine
Accident or grand design
Maybe God just kinda likes
Cowboys and angels

We ride side by side
A cloud of dust, a ray of light
My touch is her temptation
Her kiss is my salvation
She's sweet, I'm wild, we're dangerous
Cowboys and angels

There's a want and there's a need
There's a history between
Girls like her and guys like me
Cowboys and angels

Friendship

The above picture is a picture of Rachel and I. We met my freshman year in high school during basketball try outs. After that we were attached at the hip. On the weekends, she was either at my house or I was at hers. Sometimes, even during the week. We spent so much time together that she became like a sister to me. Then people started telling us we looked alike, so therefore she became my twin. I remember she went with me to take my Senior pictures and the photographer thought we were twins. Then one day at the mall, the sales lady thought I was the kid and Rachel was the friend that was visiting. It was quite funny. We did everything together, I mean everything. Except for the absolute personal stuff.

Then in February 2012, we stopped talking over some stupid drama. It was like after that, everything started happening and the only person I wanted to talk to was her. So many times I entered her number to call or to text her, but deleted it and just let it go. I didn't know if she would talk to me or not. And if I was her, I wouldn't wanna talk to me after all that. So, I just let it go and tried to forget about all the bullshit. Because all I wanted was my friend back. She was my absolute best friend. She was there for me through some rough break-ups and a lot of tough stuff. It's hard to find a true friend that you don't ever fight with. Rachel and I never fought. And if we did, it was only a joke and didn't last long at all. To be honest, half the time we were fighting over who got the last piece of pizza or what kinda cookie dough we wanted. That was a true friend! Summers were spent staying up all night long and having heart-to-hearts about anyone and everything. We even went night swimming. Only true friends wake-up at midnight because they wanna go swimming. Oh, and tagging the twin mobile to the point where we couldn't really see out any of the windows. Ha! Those were some great times! We have so many memories it's hard to write them all down. And if I were to try, I'd be typing into next week sometime. Crazy, huh?

Now, here it is November 2012 and we are talking again. All because I decided to write a letter and apologize. I didn't expect a letter back or anything. One day, I checked my mail and there it was, addressed to Mrs. Morgan Ann. I knew right then who it was from without looking at the return address just for the simple fact Rachel was the only one who called me Morgan Ann. We are talking like nothing ever happened between us. We don't miss a beat. But what makes us sad is the fact we both missed some important stuff in each others lives. I missed her high school prom and graduation. She missed my wedding. These things might not seem important to anyone else, but they were a very big deal to us. I'm just glad to have my best friend back. 

Life as a military wife

So...today I came across a picture of a girls status of how she was an "official Army girlfriend"... Let me just share the picture with you...

I don't know whether to be embarrassed for her or her boyfriend. I'm crossing my fingers that he didn't stay with her after this post. If his recruiter told them they would be allowed house without being married...that's lie number one. Then if he told them the military would pay for the wedding and her dress...lie number two. Then my favorite part is her comment back to the girl. The recruiter has her down as an "official Army girlfriend"...Oh, so exciting. All she got out of that is a "Proud Army Girlfriend" and a bumper sticker that says "I love my soldier". Some of the stuff people say, it never ceases to amaze me. But man, is she in for a rude awakening if she thinks she will get all that stuff..

Then status number two...I borrowed this from a girl who posted on the wives page we are apart of after I posted my status picture (not my status, by the way). I'm happily married and know that you don't get to live with your boyfriend and they don't pay for your wedding.

Here it is...

Okay, we don't complain about anything. Except for when our concession checks are late and then we only complain because it's our money they promised would be here by the 15th. Then it's not here, yeah we get a little disappointed. Because sometimes more stuff comes up unexpectedly and we need the money. But no, our internet, cable, housing and etc. isn't paid for. They pull our rent directly out of our husband's pay check. We just never see that money. As for internet, cable and other stuff, that's extra stuff we want, that we PAY for! They are our bills. Just like a cell phone bill. You think the military pays for that too? Well, if you do, you're wrong. When people assume everything we get is free, it pisses us off. Because the only thing we get free is medical care. And even then we have to go to certain places and even then we might still have to pay some. There are some military families feel like they do deserve to get everything for free just because they are military. But not every military family is like that.

So, before y'all go posting shit like this, why don't you look into what we all go through. Yeah, we know what we signed up for. But we also don't need bitches like you saying we want everything for free. Especailly when our husbands and some of us work for what we get. We can't help that some places give us a discount for being military. So before you complain about us, try to see what we go through. Because this just makes you an ungrateful bitch. And I hope you got an ear full from every military wife who had access to your profile.

I'm proud to be a military wife and I wouldn't trade it for the world! And I know a few other women who are just as proud to be a military wife, just like me.

My Sister

 

This is my sister, Connie. She has been there for me through thick and thin. She has gotten me through some of the toughest. If I didn't have her to turn to, I don't know what I would've done. She was there when I got my heart broken for the first time. She allowed me to vent and she was my shoulder to cry. She also gave me advice that helped me. She was there for me, along with my husband, when I was facing my miscarriage. My sister would never let anything bad happen to me. Especailly if she can prevent it from happening. And even when I go through something we couldn't prevent, she always lets me know she loves me and that she is always there for me. There aren't many big sisters that would allow their little sister to pack up their stuff and move in with them. Mine let me, twice. The above picture was taken at my "small" wedding on June 24. She helped me find the dress, she curled my hair, and she did my make-up. Then to top it off, she took pictures for us. Not just the wedding pictures, but she also did mine and Zakk's engagement pictures. I guess I'm lucky to have an older sister, because not only do I have a sister, I have a best friend for the rest of my life.

Proud to be an American

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

If tomorrow all the things were gone
I'd worked for all my life,
And I had to start again
with just my children and my wife,
I'd thank my lucky stars
to be living here today,
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom
and they can't take that away.

And I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the ones who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota
to the hills of Tennessee,
Across the plains of Texas
from sea to shining sea.
From Detroit down to Houston
and New York to L.A.,
well There's pride in every American heart
and it's time we stand and say:

that I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the ones who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

And I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the ones who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

Don't know what to feel...

These last couple of weeks have been rough. My husband and I went through something I hoped would never happen to us, but it did. He has been great. But my visits to the doctor, starting in the ER didn't go so great. The doctor I had, he was great. His nurse, not so much. She was very rude to Zakk and I. Starting from the moment she brought the ultrasound in. Zakk was sitting down on the stool the doctor was using when he came in, she told Zakk that was the doctor's seat and he would be better standing at the head of the bed. Then onto to me, I had to have a pelvic exam done, she was very rude in telling me what I had to do. And at the end of the visit, at nearly 3 a.m, she was shoving my discharge papers in my face. I was crying and she wasn't helping the cause any.

Later on that day, OB-GYN called to make an appointment for me to come in to discuss what I wanted to do. The doctor I had then was very nice and considerent about what I was going through. At the end of that visit, we were heading home with new meds and we were about to have the longest night of our lives. Well, I had to go back that following Friday to see how the progess was going. At first, she was nice and apologized for having to meet us under the terms. But then she said, "it's not like you lost a baby". I was in shock and awe that she said it. So after that, everything was in one ear and out the other. I didn't care what she had to say after that. I was so mad I wanted to cry. She made me feel stupid for being upset. She was basically telling me I had no reason to be upset.. Wrong, I took a pregnancy test, it came back positive, and we were expecting a baby at the end of all this. We still suffered a loss..

It's been two weeks since we found out I had a miscarriage. I still cry and get upset. I don't know what to feel. Sad or mad, either way it's not fair. I don't want to feel like this. But I can't help it when I see all these other girls that get to have their babies. But it's like everytime I look at them, I see everything they are doin wrong. Like still smoking, drinking, partying...and everything you're not suppose to do. It's just not fair. But I can't keep feeling like this, I have to get over it. Maybe it wasn't the right time for us. But soon enough we will get to have our family, when the time is right.

With the love and support of my amazing husband, I will get through this. I just have to take it one day at a time.